A cure to “languishing”: One purpose
Just 2 weeks ago, Adam Grant’s NY Times article took social media by storm. The renowned organizational psychologist & author claimed that ‘languishing’ will be the dominant emotion for 2021… and he’s right.
He defines ‘languishing’ as a sense of stagnation and emptiness — a state of well-being that is not depression, but also not flourishing (or ‘peak of well-being’), but rather just a state of … ‘Blah’. In turn, we become unmotivated, distracted, and more likely to cut back on work.
The first thing we ask: Is there a cure for this?
Adam Grant suggests there is, and that is to be in a state of ‘Flow’, another psychological concept that denotes full absorption or attention to the task at hand. This happens when you’re so absorbed at something that you tend to forget about the time and place, as you fully enjoy the moment whether you’re playing a game, talking to someone, or practicing a hobby.
Sure, that’s the theory but how is this in any way applicable to me? I want to take it a step further by saying that for you to achieve this, you only need — One purpose. Just one purpose is all you need.
One Purpose
If there’s one thing you do now that gives you so much joy, hold on to it. If you don’t know what that is, then find it! That is your one purpose, today.
It can be anything: it can be starting a small community pantry, cooking new recipes for your parents every Sunday, learning how to draw cartoons.
The only requirements are:
(1) that you’re doing it for yourself, and
(2) that there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing that makes you happier
Rule 1: Do it for yourself
In today’s world, we do a lot of things not for ourselves, but to meet society’s expectations of us. This is not just a theoretical ‘what if’ because these things we do (e.g. having a job, getting good grades) are reinforced by very real rewards that impact us — we get recognition or compensated for it.
But if we keep giving our whole selves to society without taking anything for ourselves, then we risk losing what makes us who we are and our capacity to continue giving in the long-term. Like a finite glass of water, we could soon be consumed and become empty.
So, do yourself (and the world a favor), do something for yourself.
Rule 2: Focus the one thing that makes you happy the most
Just by choosing to spend more time on that one thing, can re-energize us for a whole week. How? Because our human brains are wired to put more value on quality rather than quantity.
Would you rather read five books that you’d like, or one book that you’d really love? If you were an Olympics contestant, would you rather win 1 gold medal or 3 bronze medals? I’d bet you’d prefer the single gold medal as well.
Frankly, less is more. You are not defined as the sum of everything that you do, but the average of the few things that you do really well. Being ‘over-productive’ by choosing to do 10 things makes you counter-productive, as ironic as that sounds. Because those things bring you less happiness, then your average ‘happiness’ score as a result goes down, not up as you’d thought.
Life is too short to do everything. Choose few things that make you truly happy. But for today, focus on just the top thing that makes you happy the most. Trust me, it will work out.
For me, writing blog posts like this every now and then has been my one activity that brings me joy. The funny thing is that I suck at writing, but I’m always happy to share my thoughts that I’m enjoy the process of getting better at it. And this is something I do for myself first before other people.
How about you, what is the one purpose you could be doing today? What is that one activity that you can do for yourself that makes you happy the most?
What is your one purpose?
